i’m tired of inspiration

entry from my journal

i am so tired of looking for inspiration and wise words from other people. I’m tired of looking for revelations in other people’s experiences. why can they say things to change my life or outlook or mindset. they have nothing to do with me. it’s all just me. people who’ve had all these experiences and pain and travel and success or tragedy to earn the right to be searched for desperately by people like me.

i’m continually wanting more visual, creative, spiritual inspiration, but how much of it, for how much I consume, goes into creating or action? I don’t take the time to implement what I claim to understand. how useful is the knowledge if I don’t actively use it in my life?

current reflections

I wrote that at the end of a tiring day. I had spent the past hour scouring Instagram for spiritual inspiration. There had to be someone out there with the perfect aesthetic and flowy captions. (Someone who wasn’t also trying to sell me their tarot deck.)

Instead of exploring my own spirituality and life experience, I wanted someone to give theirs to me.

I do this almost every day: scrolling and following to find “inspiration”. But isn’t the idea of inspiration that it will actually inspire me to do something? Shouldn’t it inspire me to take meaningful action?

Well, I don’t. I collect and consume books, podcasts, YouTube videos, newsletters, and online courses. I read and listen and watch and do assignments, sure. I’m able to say, “Yeah, I listen to him every week. I get her emails all the time. I’m working on their course right now.”

But no matter how much I nod and mhmmm to Marie Forleo’s tweetables while I watch her, I couldn’t tell you I implemented the actual lesson of the video. I probably couldn’t even tell you what the lesson was.

This is all to say: If you’re a newsletter and YouTube junkie like me, actually pause and think about how you’re interacting with what you’re reading or watching. Ask: “What physical action can I take having learned this information?”

For me, it’s been:

  • scheduling (and doing!) focus blocks in my calendar (Asian Efficiency)
  • interacting with entrepreneur/business groups on Facebook (The Virtual Savvy)
  • asking myself, when faced with change, if it’s my ego afraid of the unfamiliar or if it’s my intuition saying this change is not for me (The Lively Show)

Marie Forleo always says,

Clarity comes from action, not thought.*

If I’m absorbing information, but not practicing it, I’m just standing still while my ego inflates. But if I absorb and practice through action, I’m moving and reaching clarity.

*The irony of using an inspiring quote here is not lost on me, but I do regularly remind myself of that quote to keep me taking action.


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